fashion, pretty girls, and other things with price tags

The Playground

I spend a lot of time criticising the boys who work on Wall Street, but if you’re not after anything too cerebral they can be quite good fun to hang out with. Fraser and Kathleen started spending a lot of time together in a weird sexless mini-clique. There had been rumours flying round that her job wasn’t as secure as it might be, and I think she was keen to get close to anyone who could help her career.

As a girl, you get used to bawdy comments from guy-friends. One of the things that really shocked me about the city guys was the number of them who had been with call-girls. Usually on foreign trips where nobody knew them, but sometimes at home in New York. “Their work builds up a lot of testosterone,” Lina would say, “they have to let off steam somehow.”

“Does your brother go with…

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This is worth watching.

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“11 Reasons Why I’m Getting Married (Again). “

via Elephant Journal

11 Reasons Why I’m Getting Married (Again). .

Warning: some adult language ahead.

I swore off marriage when I was 12-years-old.

I was a jaded preteen with a bit of a feminist streak who had witnessed the demise of her parents’ relationship a few years before. I decided that I was never going to fall prey that heteronormative, societal slave trap. I was going to make something of my life and no amount of schmaltzy, romantic bullshit was going to stand in my way.

Ten years later I was married. (Life has a funny way of taking our belief systems and packing them with dynamite.)

I was a good wife—or at least I tried to be. I cooked and cleaned. I was understanding and kind (sometimes). And I really, really cared about my husband. But admittedly, my heart was not in it. It was nobody’s fault. We simply weren’t the best fit for each other and hung on for much longer than was respectfully necessary.

So, I ended up joining the ranks of one of the real housewives who get to say fashionable things like “My ex-husband this,” or “My divorce settlement that”—all before the age of 30.

Joking aside, it was a pretty intense period of my life. Walking away from everything I had known about love and relating made me Feel like a total failure, a selfish, sick little girl with no stable ground to stand on. Even though through it all, I knew I was making the right choice, I was shaking with fear behind my mask of quiet bravery.

And with that mask came a resounding voice from the past: don’t ever get married again.

No really. You are not wife material. You are not a mother. Do you want to put another man (and possibly innocent children) though hell?

Then five months ago, he came along.

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feel well

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lovely place to visit!

backyardprovence

The beach in Bandol

Bike Rentals on L’Ile de Porquerolles

Grazing sheep in Gemenos

The Port at Sanary-sur-Mer

The hills above La Roquebrussanne

Purple flowers in full bloom in Sanary-sur-Mer

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Thrifting with Debra!

Debra is one of several older women Ari Seth Cohen interviewed during the making of his current book “Advanced Style”. As you can see here, Debra’s personal style and sense of confidence enlivens any setting, and her sunny smile and sense of humor makes any item seem haute couture.

My whole life I’ve been opposed to black because I figure there’s such a fabulous range of color, why does one have to go to black?

“if you can’t wear something upside down, inside out, and backwards, it’s not worth owning!”

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Sticks and Stones..

“There is a sleeping tiger within each of us; gently awakened, it is eager to seize the day.”
~Laurie “Tiger” Desjardins

Zen sticks are short rods of wood, about one foot long. (Attached to each other with chains, they might resemble num-chucks.) They are carved out of beautiful tropical woods, each of them designated for a certain portion of the chakras. And what do you do with them? When stressed, you pick your favorite, and flip it in your hand (like num-chucks) in a continuous motion, observing, watching, focusing, until the object of your stress has relief.

Perhaps more pertinent from a psychological point of view, are the charts listed here, which identify 300 emotions and a color wheel of feelings. Here, with words, you can pinpoint what is bothering you. And then, according to the author, choose a positive emotion on the opposite side of the wheel to counter the negative one.

Once you’ve found the pleasant emotion to counter the difficult one, you can begin thinking of things to do that will create that pleasant emotion within yourself. For example, the opposite of Inferior is Amused. You might ask yourself, “What would amuse me right now? What would make me laugh?” All there is left to do is to make a list of those things that would make you laugh. Chances are by making a list, you’ll start to feel better, but it’s important to go and do something on that list.

All the while, you are flipping the wood samples meditatively. I think they’d also be interesting, rolled up and down the back, for a massage. At least you aren’t using the rods, like num-chucks to beat on your opponent…lol.

Although the grain in the tropical woods, such as rosewood, purpleheart, and zebrawood, is beautiful, you have to wonder if good old oak or pine might serve the same purpose. But we shouldn’t let guilt over the depletion of the rainforest disturb one’s meditative practices which use pieces of it, should we?

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